for his fifth birthday, Davey got
a Cricket rifle, single shot
though it was loaded by mistake
a single shot is all it takes
the present was so gaily wrapped
no sign how badly judgement snapped
to make and sell the Chipmunk line
real guns, for children by design
we are so careless with our boys
providing weapons as their toys
the gun debate is loud and long
but this time they are surely wrong
can anyone defend the need
to arm kids still too young to read?
c. 5/5/13
I’m allergic to the sauce
and to Italian cheeses
so growing up (and later)
we made our own mock pizzas
Crescent rolls spread flat
were topped off with velveeta
I must say they went fine
with my limeade “margarita”
Work’s monthly pizza outings
were quite a trial for me–
even though I searched the menu
there was nothing I could eat
But I so loved the baking smell
of a thin and flakey crust
and the texture of the edges
coated with a flour-y dust
When hiding takeout bags got old
to Cook I made my plea
“make me a small round special
with just crust and ground beef”
A pizza with no sauce or cheese?
they thought I must be nuts
but I stayed firm in my resolve
with no ifs, ands, or buts
I got just what I ordered
a sauceless ground beef pie
and though it looked quite funny
I ate it with delight
Set the clock to spring
and the earth will bring
five million shades of green
End the winter’s drought
when we’ve done without
five million shades of green
No more the gray-blue shades
of darker evergreens that fade:
juniper, holly, fir and pine,
crutches they, to hold the line
all throughout the cold and wet
so our eyes will not forget
five million shades of green
Avocado, emerald, kelly,
froggy back and snakelet belly,
limey-lemon and lemony-lime,
grapes a bursting on the vine,
beans and peas and carrot tops,
tendrils from a dozen crops,
lettuce, cabbage, new-mown hay,
streaks of dawn at break of day,
algaed rocks in rushing streams,
minnows flashing silver gleams,
moss and clover, melon rinds,
baby needles on the pines,
clinging vines and wild duck eggs,
grassy stains on children’s legs
Flee the cities, shed your shoes,
frolic as a child would choose!
Drink in all that you can get
so your eyes will not forget
five million shades of green
Come Easter in my backyard
what wonders shall I see?
Pink eggs peeking through the grass,
are waiting just for me.
My empty Easter basket,
lined with a neon nest,
will soon be decorated
with the finds I love the best.
Some are simple hen’s eggs,
dyed pink and gold and blue,
but some have shells of plastic
that I can split in two.
Inside I might find candy
or even tiny toys–
like a bunny whistle
that makes a lot of noise.
Best of all is knowing
that when I’m fully grown,
I’ll get a chance to hide the eggs
for children of my own.
This exercise was suggested by April Taylor—her blog is at http://treasonsstratagemsspoils.blogspot.co.uk/
She passed the baton to five of us:
Robert DeMers • http://www.robertgdemersbooks.com/blogs.html
Alan Petersen • http://fictiveuniverse.com/
Harry “Hammer” Wigder • http://www.actionagainstviolence.com
Betsy A. Riley • http://brws.com/wordpress
James M. Copeland • http://www.jamesmcopelandbooks.com
1. What is the working title of your book?My working title is Queen of the Zombies—but I also considered Voodoo Queen of New Orleans. It will be shown as written by Cassandra Hex, since that is the pen name I use for this genre.
2. Where did the idea for your book come from?
I was thinking about the possibility of bio-warfare resulting in a zombie-like creature, and how the military might deal with that. I don’t believe in “zombie apocalypse” as a TEOTWAWKI (the end of the world as we know it) scenario—I think we would find ways to deal with it. I was also thinking about the original meaning of “zombie” as a living creature who has no free will. Then there’s the whole corpse reanimated by necromancy scenario. I decided to combine all three. So Dr. Liz Tyler, biochemist, is part of a team working on a cure or prophylactic for the romero virus (which the CDC names after George Romero). An inconvenient discovery forces her to flee the lab. She takes refuge with Mama Clotille, an ancient voodoo master. Using the alias Lisabetta Timo, the young doctor learns about voodoo and necromancy, becoming a master herself.
3. What genre does your book fall under?
Since it is set in modern times and has zombies, I’m told it should be classed as “urban fantasy”, but I’d characterize it as “Gulliver’s Travels with Shaun of the Evil Dead” – there is a heavy undercurrent of social satire mixed with the horror and comic relief.
4. How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
The first draft of 60,000 words was written during NaNoWriMo 2011. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, and is a world-wide challenge to write 50,000 words in the 30 days of November.
5. What other books would you compare your book to within your genre?
Other than the ones mentioned in question 2, I must include Zombies Gone Wild! (vol. 1), which contains the story “Cindy Lou, Who?” set in the same world and timeframe as Queen of the Zombies (and with some of the same characters).
6. Who or What inspired you to write this book?
It is the fusion of a number of sources. I love the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris for the dark humor and the idea of “what if these mythical creatures were real” — an idea that is also explored in Heinlein’s Waldo & Magic Incorporated. Mix in being a fan of Walking Dead and numerous discussions with my brother about his “soul-sucking” job and jokes progressing from “so easy a Caveman could do it” to “so easy a zombie could do it” — Voila—I had my own “what if…”
7. What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
This book has a very different take on zombies, and also features unusual heroes and heroines. One of the side effects of Louisiana legalizing “zombies” is the practice of “zombifying” people who are in debt to casinos. Those living zombies (or “debt zombies”) are then farmed out to work at various jobs until their debt is paid off. The romero zombies (the dead, infectious ones) end up being used in the entertainment industry.
8. Which five writers will take over from you next week and tell us about their Next Big Thing?
Jim Sellers http://Jimzshortstories.wordpress.com
Dan Marvin http://danmarvin.net
Dick Harrison http://www.dickharrison.com/sample-page-2/
Nancy Lynn Jarvis http://www.goodreadmysteries.com/wordpress
Chris Hannon http://ahairdressersdiaries.wordpress.com
Recently we went to the National Zoo, and I had a bit of a moment with the tiger. He had been almost hidden at the top of the hill, so far away from the railing that folks without a telephoto lens had no chance of a good shot. Then I spotted a plexiglass balcony that stuck out into the compound for a better view. I joked it was the feeding platform and decided to act as bait. It worked.
First I saw him peeking at me from behind the big tree. Then he came around in front of the tree, still staring me right in the eye.
None of the people who stood on the balcony before me had gotten any reaction from the tiger. I joked that I must smell sweeter because of my diabetes, and tried a “here kitty, kitty.”
He never broke eye contact as he stalked over to the stairs closest to my perch.
For a while, he just sat there, staring at me and I started to wonder just how far a tiger could jump.
Then he decided to show his stripes, AND his length by stretching down the steps. Seeing that, I thought he could have made the leap if he was really motivated. But, boy was he beautiful.
Donald Ford was gracious enough to give me permission to use his inspiring post as a guest blog. Here’s the story the way Donald told it:
I love going out to a mall with my wife and daughter shopping. They go off to shop, and I hang out with my book, my pen, and my paper. I’m always looking for opportunities to share and meet new folks.
Yesterday I stopped into a Tuxedo Rental store. I mentioned I
was looking at renting a tux for next weekend’s National American Miss Pageant for my daughter. I shared that I was retired with a late in life miracle child. Everything is paid for so far, with the help of corporate and individual sponsors, except the room for three nights, the gas out and back, and the tux. So money being tight, I was hoping for the best deal I could get.
She stopped me dead in my tracks, and asked if I was at the New York State Fair last summer sharing stories at the N.Y. State Park tent (See my icon http://www.linkedin.com/pub/donald-ford/12/921/309 ). “I was there and heard some of your stories; they were good.” Then she said, “I can help you out. I get one free rental a year, and I’ll give it to you.” My jaw dropped. I was shocked as she began measuring me for it.
Maybe I’ll change my icon, showing me in my tux next week, so all can see it. A free rental, what a great blessing, and from a stranger turned friend. My wife hugged the clerk, and my daughter thought I looked great in my new rental duds. I personally think I look better in my steel toed boots, and my chain-saw at my side for cutting wood. A Forestry grad. LOL
Erin will be competing in the talent category as well with a number from Les Mis (“On My Own”). If you hadn’t seen her two numbers from her recent recital, you can catch them on google. Feel free to leave a comment on both or either one. Cheers, Don Google: “Erin singing Danny Boy” It is a featured song with over 400 hits in the month.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk7xuve4PSM&feature=youtu.be
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AfwrhjSkHo&feature=youtu.be
Short Bio: Don is a well published author across the U.S. and now in Europe with connections in 62 countries. Check out his recent Book, “Death & Taxes” and a PDF story, “Royal Ferdinand” both at Amazon. The next PDF-only Book will be “Funny Business” since it is full of color and would be cost prohibitive to buy as a physical book.
You may receive this compilation of short writings to tickle most funny bones by sending $4 to Don Ford. Contact if interested. If you have PayPal that would work also. All
proceeds for this book go to Erin’s NAM Pageant.
One-Eyed Jack
If you wanna hear some war tales
go see one-eyed Jack
you’ll find him near the steak house
in the alleys ’round the back
Everyone knows he’s a veteran
of what, he never tells
but there’s glory in his stories
and man, he tells them well
Sometimes they’re set in jungles
and sometimes desert sands
he praises all the fallen men
and tells of their last stands
The VA pays his room rent
but he can’t stand the walls
as soon as he awakens
he’s rolling down the halls
He loves those charcoal breezes
their fragrance takes him back
to days when he was tall and strong
and known as simply Jack
But don’t jump to conclusions
as he rolls down the street
it’s not war, but diabetes
that took his legs and feet
(reprinted with permission, from
Street People Tales by Betsy A. Riley,
Blue Dragon Press, December 2011)
In case you’re not familiar with the TV show, House (Dr. Gregory House) is a brilliant diagnostician (with really cranky ways and a serious prescription drug problem).His credo is “Everybody lies”. Finding the patients’ lies is often the focus of the episode. House makes the point that people lie for different reasons. Sometimes they are just embarrassed about a particular fact–or they don’t think it is important. So the doctors on the show have to discover the lie that is the missing piece of evidence needed to discover what’s wrong with the patient.
Hitler’s contribution is “The Big Lie”. He declared that everyone makes LITTLE lies, so they expect other people’s lies to be similarly small. This leads them to accept the whopper, the grandiose, and improbable more readily than a simple fib. Con artists are very familiar with this principle. Often they will start with a grain of truth–something that CAN be verified, and then inflate the claim beyond all reason. Perversely it works — “Because who would lie about something so big.”
So a grassroots campaign worker might claim to be a senior advisor or speechwriter to a recently elected official, the more prominent the better. Whatever the field the person is targeting, they can pick some well known accomplishment and claim to have been the originator. In the movie “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion”, the girls claim to have invented post-its. Unfortunately, the story of that invention is rather well known, so they get caught out. A better choice would have been to claim invention of the adhesive for press-on nails. But even Romy and Michelle were smart enough not to claim invention of something that happened before any possible involvement by them. But if they claimed to have improved the glue and boosted sales…? It might just fly. Until someone checked their story.
Too often these days, people don’t check claims or credentials of those they do business with. A simple Google search is better than nothing, but that often doesn’t provide quality information. You have to look carefully at the source of the results. A dot gov site is more reliable than a dot com, especially when the dot com is a social media site with no screening. Anonymous posts can’t be verified. Liars will often create fake posts supporting their own claims–like making up names and posting reviews of their own books. Check to see if the reviewer has reviewed any other books (there’s a “read my other reviews” link on Amazon). Another warning sign is over the top comments. In “Singing in the Rain,” Lina Lamont (Jean Hagen) writes a press release labeling herself “a shining, shimmering star in the cinema firmament.” and seems to believe her own lie, because, after all, it’s printed in the paper. I’ve see book reviews that say “[Author] is a shining star on the literary horizon.” Wonder if that reviewer saw the movie? (And it occurs to me that a star is just a flaming ball of gas!)
Back to searches. A more reliable source is to go to a newspaper site and search the archives for stories using a particular name. You can find stuff that way that won’t show up in a normal Google search. The same is true of records about lawsuits. The best (free) way is to go to the county court site for a given city and do an online records search. Access varies widely from county to county. In some counties, you can pull up scanned copies of actual signed court documents, giving details of a case and the disposition (the judge’s ruling).
If you are using Google, check the actual links, not just the summary. Sometimes a person can get their name to show up with a publication just by posting a comment on someone else’s article.
It’s a jungle out there, so be careful. Even experts can get fooled. Just a few years back a leading law firm belatedly discovered that one of their associates had faked her resume and didn’t even have a law degree. But don’t let the possibility of deception ruin your networking experience . One of Reagan’s favorite expressions was a Russian proverb: “Trust, but verify”–it’s still a good policy. Watch your back, and check out references before getting involved with people you meet on the internet.
Fantasy Rejections
Like so many of my fellow authors I have a stack of rejection letters. Well, actually, since they are emails, they don’t really stack–but you know what I mean. Reading through them, I see a lot of repetition of certain phrases, enough to make me wonder if there is a book of rejection letter templates. (Hmm, scratch that–maybe I’ll write one!)
The Disabled Editor
I’ve seen four variations of the inability reason recently:
“…we are unable to use…”
“…we are unable to offer to publish…”
“…We won’t be able to include…”
“…we will not be able to use…”
It was refreshing to see the ones that said “…we will not be using…” or “…we’re going to pass…”. Simple statements of fact, without feigning some obstacle preventing use of my story. What could it be?
“Dear author, while we have never seen a more brilliant piece of fiction, we will not be able to use your story because we have been taken hostage by a rival author. He has duct taped us to our chair, having first forced us to sign print orders for all his submissions. Since they number more than the expected production of the magazine for the entire upcoming year, that leaves no room for your mesmerizing story to be included. We hope you will understand. We wish you luck submitting it to other markets. One more thing–as a special favor, could you please call 911 for us?”
The Vague Editor
Then there are the “blind date” editors who are looking for a perfect match, without specifying just what makes perfect.
“…is not for us…”
“…not right for us at this time…”
“…isn’t quite what we’re looking for right now…”
While it might be unpleasant, it would be more helpful if they actually told us the real reason, so we would know whether we need to rewrite or just choose another market (or another career). Maybe reasons like these?
Your story is too short; we were looking for a tall tale.
My father’s name was Howard, how dare you use that name for your villain.
Your story is too heavy; we just want light fiction.
Your poetry rhymes–how quaint. Unfortunately, we are not Mother Goose.
You call that a poem? It doesn’t even rhyme.
How could you kill off Katie so cruelly–my sister’s name is Katie.
Your story has too much sex and violence.
Your story needs more sex and violence.
